Stephen began the program with a palpable disappointment, the news of Saddam Hussein’s execution having broken just before the commercial. He addressed Lake Superior State University’s decision to prohibit the word "truthiness" in their bro…

In the opening segment, Freem substitutes "substantial" with a more accessible word. Stephen expresses gratitude to former Archbishop of Warsaw, Stanisław Wielgus, for his involvement in a Catholic Church controversy of a non-sexual nature.…

Stephen voiced his disapproval of Bush’s decision not to deploy the three hundred million troops he had recommended the previous day, yet he offered a pardon, framing it as if this were "the only error he would commit in this war." He then …

Stephen launches into another installment of his recurring segment, "What Number is Stephen Thinking Of?", beginning with a clip from 2005. He then marks five years since the opening of Guantanamo Bay, followed by a conversation with Ken Ro…

On this Martin Luther King Day, Stephen advocates for a nationwide day of quiet refusal – a passive protest modeled after figures like Rosa Parks, urging viewers to abstain from "anything at all." He then directs criticism at Senator Barbar…

As Bill O'Reilly prepared for his Thursday studio appearance, Stephen's irritation surfaced over a persistently squeaky chair, directed at the director. The monologue then shifted to a segment titled "Invasion of the Country Snatchers," exp…

With Bill O'Reilly's scheduled studio appearance on Thursday drawing nearer, Stephen felt a heightened level of apprehension compared to the day before. He retrieved a collection of treasured items, intending to display them for O'Reilly th…

The day had arrived, and Stephen was alight with anticipation at the prospect of Bill O'Reilly appearing on the show. He confessed that this day had been the sole purpose of his undertaking, and unfurled a banner proclaiming "Mission Accomp…

Stephen expressed his disappointment regarding the New Orleans Saints’ defeat at the hands of the Chicago Bears, whom he derisively termed “God-less killing machines.” In a segment titled “Who’s Riding My Coattails Now?”, he criticized Bill…

Stephen notes that this recording is the second of a pair, captured on January 22nd, allowing him to host a State of the Union address party the following day. Russ Lieber joins them in the studio to offer his perspective on the recently en…

When Lou Dobbs, author of *War on the Middle Class*, engages in conversation with Stephen, he is confronted with an unvarnished reality.

On his program, Bill O'Reilly offered a candid assessment of Stephen, revealing his true feelings. Subsequently, Stephen conducted an interview with Coach Bob Mancini of the Saginaw Spirit, expressing his disapproval of the coach’s stance r…

Stephen Colbert fulfilled a wager with the mayor of Oshawa following a Saginaw Spirit victory over the Oshawa Generals. He then addressed the news of Microsoft compensating individuals for Wikipedia edits, observing that the very fabric of …

Stephen began the broadcast with a clip from Fox News' *Fox and Friends*, focusing on the phenomenon of an unseen beam inducing the sensation of burning. He then recounted an incident involving the acquisition of a neighbor's *New York Time…

Stephen began the program by addressing the matter of global warming, then made a symbolic substitution, replacing Bobby with a 5000 Watt heat lamp in protest. Next, the familiar "On Notice" board reappeared, accompanied by the newly introd…

Stephen addressed the 2007 Boston Mooninite incident, expressing regret that it now prevents him from using advertisements that, while intended to be humorous, might be misinterpreted as threatening. He then moved on to discuss the "Movies …

Stephen was jubilant over the thorough defeat of the Bears in Super Bowl XLI. He also announced a new product, "Formula 419," a blend of his existing Formula 401 and Peyton Manning's jersey number. Furthermore, Stephen noted that his son, S…

A message arrived from Master Media International informing Stephen of a prayer service scheduled for his behalf on February 22nd. This was followed by the fortieth installment of "Better Know A District," featuring Ohio's 18th Congressiona…

Stephen opens with a new segment, "California Values Watch," beginning with a discussion of San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom’s recent difficulties. He then addresses the controversy that has arisen between Representatives Loretta Sanchez an…

Stephen began by commenting on the news coverage of the astronaut incident, focusing particularly on the widespread discussion surrounding Lisa Nowak's reported use of diapers. He then confessed to a similar practice himself, admitting to w…

Stephen begins by performing a spirited rendition of "My Humps" behind his desk, before shifting to a discussion of the Grammy Awards. The conversation then pivots to commentary on the criticism leveled against the Iraq War, leading into a …

Stephen Colbert addressed the recurring notion of a Chinese threat, framing a special report on his program with the provocative title, "Apocalypse Mao: Murdered By The Orient's Success."

Stephen noted a correction regarding population figures, stating that China's population is four times greater than that of the United States, not three times. Colbert cautioned against the practice of instructing older adults on matters of…

Stephen Colbert mentioned that Mastermedia International would be holding a prayer for him on February 22nd. He then inquired about the day's proceedings with J. J. Abrams, accompanied by a photograph of Jimmie "J.J." Walker. Following this…

Stephen drew a parallel between Britain's withdrawal from Iraq and historical instances of British disengagement from both the United States and India, suggesting that the former would usher in an era of democratic growth.

Stephen offered his perspective on a recent report concerning Al Gore's energy consumption. Meanwhile, *Outdoor Life* Magazine dismissed a columnist for advocating an assault rifle ban, a decision Stephen lauded. Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle…

Stephen Colbert addressed David Geffen’s shift in allegiance from Hillary Clinton to Barack Obama. He then discussed Tom Vilsack’s withdrawal from the presidential campaign, introducing a new segment titled "Profiles in Quitters: Problems W…

Mr. Colbert expressed his gratitude to those who offered prayers for him last Thursday, sporting his customary prayer hat and foam fingers. He also offered his thoughts on the recent media attention surrounding the Anna Nicole Smith story. …

Stephen observed the considerable number of politicians who had visited Walter Reed Hospital following the recent controversy. Ben and Jerry's seemed to capitalize on the situation, promoting a new ice cream flavor bearing his name. The Bea…

Stephen boasted of a Mega Millions lottery victory that had yet to occur. He also offered sharp ridicule of Viacom CEO Sumner Redstone during this segment. Later, he discussed the verdict in the Lewis "Scooter" Libby trial, noting his acqui…

In an unusual moment of humility, Colbert addressed his victory in a Mega Millions lottery drawing, reaching out to his boss, Sumner Redstone, with an apology. His program had previously championed the repeal of the military’s Don't Ask, Do…

Stephen muses on the enduring media attention surrounding the Libby trial. He then shifts to the topic of Captain America’s demise, expanding on it further in *The Word*. The Better Know A District segment featured Representative John Yarmu…

Stephen chides Bill Gates for his philanthropic endeavors abroad, all the while lamenting the decline of American strength. He withdraws his earlier dismissive remarks about Captain America upon discovering the hero has left him his iconic …

As the program concludes, Stephen delivers his closing announcement, uttering "Goodnight," before the credits begin to scroll across the screen.

Stephen Colbert unveiled a fresh addition to his show, titled "When Ancestors Attack." He then noted Colorado’s designation of John Denver’s "Rocky Mountain High" as its second official state song. In the sports segment, viewers received gu…

Stephen marked the final St. Patrick's Day with a celebration, then shifted his focus to the surprising number of fervent supporters of President Bush in Latin America, incorporating insights from Esteban Colberto. The forty-fourth installm…

Stephen addressed the recent attack launched against him by Rahm Emanuel in Washington. The Word noted South Carolina's proposal to grant prisoners the opportunity to donate organs in exchange for reduced sentences. Threatdown's ranking rec…

Following yesterday’s takedown of threat #.5, Stephen found himself unexpectedly aligned with a German environmentalist regarding the fate of Knut, the polar bear cub at the Berlin zoo. This sentiment shifted abruptly when he viewed footage…

In the forty-fifth installment of "Better Know A District," the guest was Maurice Hinchey, representing New York's 22nd congressional district.

The issue of allowing Washington, D.C. residents to vote in Congressional elections was under discussion with Congresswoman Eleanor Holmes Norton. Meanwhile, controversy arose surrounding the interpretation of Stephen’s facial features by …

Stephen voiced his displeasure at the recent auction sale of a severed mummy hand, a piece he had coveted as the earliest artifact bearing the insignia of "No. #1." This resentment seemed partly fueled by Rahm Emanuel’s tendency to dissuade…

Stephen offered a sharp rebuke to Sean Penn regarding the actor's outspoken criticisms of the Bush administration. Separately, Stephen engaged in a conversation with former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, focusing on the complexities…

Stephen’s disappointment at Paulina Porizkova's departure from *Dancing with the Stars* was palpable, amplified by the fact that her husband, Ric Ocasek, is a friend to the program. He then shifted to a discussion of oil deposits discovered…

Stephen initially expressed reservations about the Equal Rights Amendment, suggesting that a system of personal integrity should suffice for all. He later invoked John McCain’s assertion that Sadr City had become significantly safer in the …

Stephen Colbert marked the fourth anniversary of Baghdad's liberation with his signature indulgence: a "Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream" ice cream. He savored each bite throughout the broadcast, then announced its ascent to the top-sellin…

Stephen rebuked the fifteen British sailors who, having recently emerged from captivity in Iran, were eager to share their experiences. In "The Word," he addressed America's manufactured health care crisis. He then shifted the conversation …

Stephen presented the newest of his namesake creatures, Stephanie Colburtle, one of the leatherback sea turtles being monitored as it journeys from Costa Rica to the Galapagos. In his column, "The Word," Stephen revisited Monday's account o…

Stephen voiced his disapproval of Democratic Senator Harry Reid’s tactic of “politicizing the war in Iraq,” referencing a translated excerpt from Pope Benedict XVI’s recent speech as evidence. In his column, "The Wørd," Stephen lauded the p…

Stephen started by retracting his previous characterizations of Boyd K. Packer as the "Mormon Pope" or "Mope," suggesting instead the more fitting title of "Mormon Cardinal," or "Mardinal." He then drew a parallel between Don Imus' dismissa…

Stephen revealed that he would be engaging in a contest of metaphors with Sean Penn on Thursday's program. An update on Stephanie Colburtle, the turtle who held second place in the race to the Galápagos Islands at the time of broadcast – a …

Stephen voiced his discontent over not receiving a Pulitzer Prize for his journalism. In an essay titled "The Word," he critiqued the corporate sponsorship of the War on Terror, arguing that the conflict transcends mere nomenclature. Foota…

Stephen expressed disbelief regarding a scientific study asserting chimpanzees possess greater evolutionary advancement than humans based on DNA analysis. On "The Word," he discussed John Edwards’ expensive haircut and mused about the possi…

The play begins with a reflection on Boris Yeltsin. Stephen then engages Eleanor Holmes Norton in a spirited interview concerning the recent bill granting the District of Columbia representation in the U.S. House. In "The Word," Stephen off…

Seeking a fresh appellation for the protracted conflict, Colbert proposes "Freemerican Victernity Made in China." He subsequently advocates for admitting undocumented immigrants into the armed services, contingent upon their subsequent acqu…

A shadow of discontent settled over Stephen; Stephanie Colburtle The Turtle’s defeat in The Great Turtle Race weighed heavily on him. He felt particularly aggrieved by the victory of a turtle named Billy, insisting that Billy was male and d…

The final day of April has arrived. Only a month remains until the start of swimming season. A little exercise wouldn't hurt; perhaps some squats. This is The Colbert Report.

Building upon earlier discussion, Stephen reiterates the lingering question of Jewish ancestry within his family history. He then addresses what he perceives as provocative rhetoric on the Daily Kos website, culminating in an interview with…

Stephen preempts criticism by asking viewers to refrain from watching his interview with Richard Branson, a segment that has already garnered media attention as a disastrous affair. He then proceeds to interview Mike Huckabee, asserting tha…

Stephen persists in his critique of excessive wrist-based violence, identifying Steven Seagal as a particularly egregious example in the realm of "Wrist snuff." He also announces the availability of his "WristStrong" wristbands at colbertne…

On "Colbert Platinum," he discusses the closure of a helipad in Saint-Tropez and the increasing popularity of champagne. He then engages Richard Branson in conversation regarding Virgin America and “Air Colbert.” However, as the interview p…

This evening, Stephen hosts Bjorn Lomborg, the former director of the Environmental Assessment Institute and author of *Cool It: The Skeptical Environmentalist’s Guide to Global Warming*.

This evening, Stephen is delighted to host Garrison Keillor, the humorist and author of *Pontoon: A Novel of Lake Wobegon*.

This evening, Stephen will host Joel Klein, the chancellor of New York City Schools.

Tonight, Stephen welcomes actor and environmental activist Ed Begley Jr., co-author of *Grassroots Rising*. He also speaks with Father James Martin, author of *My Life with the Saints*, regarding recent revelations concerning Mother Teresa'…

Tonight, Stephen welcomes Susan Sarandon, the acclaimed actress, passionate activist, and co-star of *In the Valley of Elah*.

Tonight, Stephen welcomes Naomi Wolf, the feminist and author of *The End of America: A Letter of Warning to a Young Patriot*.

Tonight, Stephen welcomes Jeffrey Toobin, the legal writer and author of *The Nine: Inside the Secret World of the Supreme Court*.

Tonight, Stephen welcomes Thomas Friedman, the New York Times columnist and author of *The World Is Flat [Updated and Expanded]: A Brief History of the Twenty-First Century*.

This evening, Stephen welcomes John Grisham, the acclaimed author of *Playing for Pizza* and a retired attorney.

Tonight, Stephen welcomes opera singer Nathan Gunn, who is celebrating the release of his new CD, *Just Before Sunrise*.

This evening, Stephen is pleased to host David Schwartz, the chief film curator of the Museum of Moving Image.