Synopsis

Cornfed learned from his father, in a documentary co-authored with Ken Burns, of a genetic affliction that presented him with a stark ultimatum: lose his virginity within twenty-four hours, or perish. Duckman attempted to assist him, but it was Bernice who ultimately intervened. In gratitude, Cornfed vowed his eternal devotion. However, her rejection left him desolate, and he attempted to take his own life.