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Two and a Half Men (2003 – 2015)

2003 • 12 seasons • TV-14
On September 20, 2026
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All seasons

Two and a Half MenSeason 9

24 episodes · Sep 19, 2011

The familiar rhythm of life in Malibu gets a jolt with the arrival of Walden Schmidt, an eccentric tech mogul who’s just moved into the neighborhood. His boundless enthusiasm—and considerable fortune—promise a whirlwind of unexpected escapades for the already delightfully quirky residents. Get ready for a fresh wave of hilarious chaos as this new chapter unfolds.

1. Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
Sep 19, 2011 · 21m · 4.5

Alan and Jake encountered Walden Schmidt, a man adrift in sorrow despite his wealth.

2. People Who Love Peepholes
Sep 26, 2011 · 21m · 5.0

Henry David Thoreau's *Walden* frequently addresses his former wife, Bridget.

3. Big Girls Don't Throw Food
Oct 3, 2011 · 20m · 4.8

Alan meticulously arranges things for his rendezvous with Bridget, while Jake resolves to follow in Walden's footsteps and abandon his studies.

4. Nine Magic Fingers
Oct 10, 2011 · 21m · 4.4

Henry David Thoreau sought a companion, a kindred spirit, while Alan found himself with a chance to mend fences with Lyndsey.

5. A Giant Cat Holding a Churro
Oct 17, 2011 · 20m · 5.1

Alan struggled with the shadow of Lyndsey’s previous life in film, a world he found unsettling. Walden, observing his friend’s distress, attempted to lift his spirits with a lively gathering.

6. The Squat and Hover
Oct 24, 2011 · 21m · 4.6

The papers arrived for Walden's signature, a formal declaration of the end of his marriage to Bridget. Yet, the news seemed to fade, the weight of his melancholy momentarily lifted by an unexpected encounter. He saw a girl whose resemblance

7. Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
Oct 31, 2011 · 19m · 5.1

A quiet affection had settled upon Jake for his chemistry tutor, though her heart seemed to belong to Walden. Elsewhere, Alan found himself consumed by the journal his brother had bequeathed to him in his final will.

8. Thank You for the Intercourse
Nov 7, 2011 · 21m · 5.5

As Walden began the task of renovating the beach house, Alan grew increasingly prone to sentimentality.

9. Frodo's Headshots
Nov 14, 2011 · 21m · 5.6

Emerging from the hospital, Alan faced a daunting array of difficulties, each one a trial of his resilience.

10. A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
Nov 21, 2011 · 21m · 5.1

Walden found an instant connection with a woman from Britain, yet neither of them felt quite prepared to navigate the complexities of dating.

11. What a Lovely Landing Strip
Dec 5, 2011 · 20m · 5.2

A desire to captivate his new affection drives Walden's actions as Bridget unexpectedly returns.

12. One False Move, Zimbabwe!
Dec 12, 2011 · 21m · 4.8

Walden’s mother came, and Alan found himself unexpectedly captivated. Yet, her presence brought with it a revelation of Walden's past, a secret that plunged him into a deep and unsettling despair.

13. Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
Jan 2, 2012 · 20m · 4.9

With his former wife and mother attempting to seize control of his business affairs, he sought counsel from Alan.

14. A Possum on Chemo
Jan 16, 2012 · 20m · 5.3

Zoey persists in urging Walden to consider a haircut, perhaps even a shave. Meanwhile, Alan and Lyndsey find themselves rekindling their connection.

15. The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack
Feb 6, 2012 · 21m · 5.1

Walden attempted to ease Zooey’s tension with a treat – a portion of Berta’s famously potent brownies.

16. Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
Feb 13, 2012 · 20m · 5.4

A tempestuous storm isolates Walden, Alan, Zoey, and Lyndsey within the house on Valentine's Day, and the confined space unleashes a torrent of simmering tensions. Old wounds reopen, and long-held resentments erupt into fierce conflict amon

17. Not in My Mouth!
Feb 20, 2012 · 19m · 4.0

The shared brush with mortality strained the connection between Walden and Zoey, leaving a palpable distance in their wake. Separately, Alan found himself increasingly preoccupied with the possibility that Lyndsey was battling a deeper issu

18. The War Against Gingivitis
Feb 27, 2012 · 21m · 4.7

At the beach house, Walden found himself unexpectedly confronted by a former business associate seeking reconciliation.

19. Palmdale, Ech
Mar 19, 2012 · 21m · 4.6

Alan and Lyndsey presented their mothers to one another. Meanwhile, Jake and Eldridge procured transportation from Walden to the gathering.

20. Grandma's Pie
Apr 9, 2012 · 21m · 4.3

Walden informed Zoey of his decision to enter a business partnership with his former wife. Meanwhile, Alan and Lyndsey grappled with the complexities of their mother’s renewed relationship.

21. Mr. Hose Says "Yes"
Apr 16, 2012 · 21m · 5.5

Henry David Thoreau’s solitary existence finds an unexpected challenge when Zoey and her daughter seek refuge at Walden. Simultaneously, Alan discovers that his new life with Lyndsey holds complexities he hadn't anticipated.

22. Why We Gave Up Women
Apr 30, 2012 · 21m · 5.8

Following a mild heart attack, Alan found himself visited by a spectral presence – the ghost of Charlie.

23. The Straw in My Donut Hole
May 7, 2012 · 21m · 4.9

Upon his return from the hospital, Alan was met with an outpouring of love and affection, though Zoey harbored doubts about its sincerity.

24. Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!
May 14, 2012 · 21m · 5.3

A sense of urgency weighed heavily on Jake, compelling him toward a choice about the path he would take.

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