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Two and a Half Men poster

Two and a Half Men (2003 – 2015)

2003 • 12 seasons • TV-14
On September 20, 2026
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All seasons

Two and a Half MenSeason 5

19 episodes · Sep 24, 2007

Life’s throwing some curveballs at the Harper family this season. Charlie's navigating a surprisingly complicated landscape of genuine emotions, while Alan continues his often-hilarious journey through the ups and downs of romance. And as Jake grows up fast, he’s leaving childhood behind with a fresh wave of teenage mischief and antics.

1. Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
Sep 24, 2007 · 20m · 8.1

With the milestone of graduating to junior high looming, Jake prepared for this new chapter. Alan and Charlie accompanied him on a shopping trip for school supplies, an outing that quickly led them into unforeseen difficulties.

2. Media Room Slash Dungeon
Oct 1, 2007 · 22m · 6.5

Following an evening with his mother, Charlie is noticeably off, while the woman Alan had spent the night with exhibits an unusual demeanor the following morning.

3. Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
Oct 8, 2007 · 21m · 7.6

Alan persuaded Charlie that his dating choices lacked refinement and arranged a meeting with a judge. They shared a double date, unaware that their waitress was a former flame of Charlie’s. The following morning, however, Charlie's evening

4. City of Great Racks
Oct 15, 2007 · 22m · 7.6

As Charlie and Linda drew nearer to a deeper intimacy, a persistent distraction began to cloud his thoughts. He found himself haunted by the image of Rose, her face appearing unexpectedly in every corner of his vision.

5. Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
Oct 22, 2007 · 22m · 7.5

Charlie found himself increasingly challenged by the demands of entertaining his girlfriend’s four-year-old daughter, a task that frequently landed upon Alan. He was, in effect, becoming a willing, if somewhat bewildered, experimental subje

6. Help Daddy Find His Toenail
Oct 29, 2007 · 21m · 7.2

Charlie’s girlfriend feels a blush of embarrassment at having to be seen with him in public. Elsewhere, Jake slips away unnoticed to attend a concert.

7. The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room
Nov 5, 2007 · 20m · 7.3

A disagreement over Alan’s responsibilities within the household escalated between him and Charlie. The tension culminated in Alan gathering his belongings, including Jake’s, and departing for his mother’s home.

8. Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
Nov 12, 2007 · 20m · 7.8

Charlie penned a children’s song and discovered unexpected popularity as the character, Charlie Waffles. The song resonated with the young audience, and the mothers who accompanied them seemed equally charmed. This newfound acclaim, however

9. Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids
Nov 19, 2007 · 20m · 7.7

A pull toward Teddy’s daughter troubles Charlie. He struggles against the burgeoning attraction, a silent battle waged within him.

10. Kinda Like Necrophilia
Nov 26, 2007 · 22m · 7.5

The revelation struck Alan with a force he hadn't anticipated: Charlie had stolen his girlfriend. Though years had passed since those high school days, the betrayal ignited a simmering resentment within him. He began to meticulously constru

11. Meander to Your Dander
Mar 17, 2008 · 22m · 7.7

Alan often sought out Charlie's counsel when the prospect of ending a relationship loomed.

12. A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
Mar 24, 2008 · 22m · 7.5

Rose returned from England and took on the role of caregiver for a frail Charlie, though she performed her duties with a peculiar sort of attentiveness.

13. The Soil Is Moist
Mar 31, 2008 · 20m · 7.3

Alan stumbled upon unexpected details regarding Judith's intimate life during a date he arranged with one of her acquaintances.

14. Winky-Dink Time
Apr 14, 2008 · 22m · 7.2

Charlie arranged a double date with Jake, and then, in a separate act, facilitated an encounter between Alan and a woman of the night.

15. Rough Night in Hump Junction
Apr 21, 2008 · 21m · 7.5

Alan believes Charlie lacks the capacity to restrain his tendency toward romantic pursuits with multiple women.

16. Look At Me Mommy, I'm Pretty
Apr 28, 2008 · 22m · 7.5

Alan oversaw the meticulous arrangements for Evelyn and Teddy's wedding, while Charlie navigated the delicate process of forging a connection with his future stepsister.

17. Fish in a Drawer
May 5, 2008 · 21m · 7.0

At Charlie's residence, forensic investigators examine a deceased person.

18. If My Hole Could Talk
May 12, 2008 · 21m · 7.1

A pull towards a seasoned self-help author captivates Charlie. Meanwhile, Alan and Jake find themselves at odds regarding a school assignment.

19. Waiting for the Right Snapper
May 19, 2008 · 22m · 7.4

The moment Charlie met Angie’s future daughter-in-law, a familiar feeling stirred within him – a sense of recognition that hinted at a previous encounter.

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