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Two and a Half Men poster

Two and a Half Men (2003 – 2015)

2003 • 12 seasons • TV-14
On September 20, 2026
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Two and a Half MenSeason 3

24 episodes · Sep 19, 2005

Get ready for a season of chaotic charm! As Charlie continues his delightfully unpredictable life, expect plenty of laughs – and friction – when his impulsive nature bumps up against Alan's anxieties. This year, the family navigates the messy realities of relationships, career struggles, and the joys (and challenges!) of raising kids, all while their contrasting personalities create a constant stream of comedic mayhem.

1. Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
Sep 19, 2005 · 22m · 7.1

Following his fall from the roof, Alan finds himself reliant on Charlie for care of Jake, a situation that significantly disrupts Charlie’s personal life.

2. Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
Sep 26, 2005 · 22m · 6.3

Following the creation of a drawing deemed offensive – depicting a classmate with prominent breasts – Jake faces suspension from school. Simultaneously, Charlie finds himself tasked with overseeing Alan’s chiropractic office after a sleeple

3. Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
Oct 3, 2005 · 22m · 7.0

Alan had been seeing many people, and soon Charlie discovered the truth: it was always Judith, his ex-wife. He made attempts to dissuade Alan, even enlisting the help of Rose, Evelyn, and Berta, but Alan paid them no mind.

4. Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
Oct 10, 2005 · 22m · 6.9

Berta's temporary residence with Charlie and Alan introduced a palpable strain into their dynamic, creating an undercurrent of unease between the two men.

5. We Called It Mr. Pinky
Oct 17, 2005 · 21m · 7.1

The realization struck Charlie with a quiet force: a sustained romantic partnership seemed perpetually out of reach, tethered to the lingering complexities of his relationship with his mother. Meanwhile, Jake sought Charlie's counsel regard

6. Hi, Mr. Horned One
Oct 24, 2005 · 21m · 7.4

Charlie disregarded Alan’s cautions and persisted in seeing Isabella, until she issued a threat – a curse upon his virility.

7. Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
Nov 7, 2005 · 22m · 6.8

The morning after Rose’s birthday celebration finds Charlie awakening beside her. Soon after, Rose’s father arrives, his expression stern as he seeks to understand the prospects of their shared future. But the conversation takes an unforese

8. That Voodoo That I Do Do
Nov 14, 2005 · 21m · 7.3

Driven by a secret desire, Charlie manipulated Jake into enrolling in ballet classes, hoping the arrangement would bring him closer to the instructor.

9. Madame and Her Special Friend
Nov 21, 2005 · 21m · 6.5

In the quiet of his days, Charlie found himself navigating a disquieting pair of situations. An elderly neighbor, one of the long-time residents of the street, made an unwelcome advance toward him. Simultaneously, Charlie wrestled with the

10. Something Salted and Twisted
Nov 28, 2005 · 22m · 6.8

Charlie often found himself assisting Alan with a peculiar preoccupation: the constant need for validation from the women around him.

11. Santa's Village of the Damned
Dec 19, 2005 · 22m · 7.5

Alan began a relationship with a woman possessed of an almost unnerving dedication to domestic order. It didn't take long for her meticulous nature to extend to the entire household, transforming it under a relentless pursuit of flawless pr

12. That Special Tug
Jan 9, 2006 · 22m · 6.9

Seeking guidance, Charlie began seeing a therapist, hoping to navigate the complexities of Alan’s emotional vulnerabilities.

13. Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
Jan 23, 2006 · 22m · 7.0

Charlie exists in a relationship devoid of physical intimacy.

14. Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
Feb 6, 2006 · 22m · 7.5

Charlie orchestrated a romantic encounter with Mia, harboring a desire to deepen their connection. Meanwhile, Alan had begun seeing Charlie’s most recent former partner.

15. My Tongue Is Meat
Feb 27, 2006 · 22m · 7.3

Struggling to match Mia’s dedication to wellness, Charlie began a quiet rebellion. He indulged in clandestine beers, cigars, and greasy burgers, concealing his actions from her. When Mia discovered his deception, Charlie was forced to confr

16. Ergo, the Booty Call
Mar 6, 2006 · 22m · 7.6

Alan wrestled with the decision of whether to bring his girlfriend, younger than himself, to Jake’s birthday celebration – a gathering that would necessitate an introduction to both his mother and his ex-wife. Meanwhile, Rose found herself

17. The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
Mar 13, 2006 · 21m · 6.9

Charlie had received a nomination for an advertising award, yet resolved to forgo the ceremony. His persistent rival invariably claimed victory, and he refused to participate in a contest where that outcome seemed inevitable. His family, ho

18. The Spit-Covered Cobbler
Mar 20, 2006 · 21m · 7.0

Financial strain begins to weigh on Alan as he takes on the burden of his girlfriend’s expenses. Consequently, Charlie attempts to persuade him to end their relationship. At the same time, Judith pursues Alan, concerned by his overdue alimo

19. Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
Apr 10, 2006 · 22m · 7.4

Charlie was taken aback to discover Kandi had been residing with them for the past three weeks. Alan was struggling to assist Kandi in finding work. Charlie himself felt adrift, his spirit dimmed by a prolonged period of stagnation.

20. Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
Apr 24, 2006 · 21m · 7.5

Alan makes a renewed effort to win Kandi back. Simultaneously, Charlie begins an affair with her mother, Mandi, while Judith finds herself courted by her father, Andy.

21. And the Plot Moistens
May 1, 2006 · 21m · 7.1

Jake’s teacher is scheduled to meet with Alan and Judith to address Jake's disengagement from schoolwork. Meanwhile, Alan finds himself developing a fondness for Francine, a gentle affection born from weariness of the shallow exchanges he s

22. Just Once with Aunt Sophie
May 8, 2006 · 22m · 7.2

A girl from Jake’s school extended an invitation to a party – his first of this kind. He sought counsel from Charlie and Alan as they helped him prepare. The conversation stirred a shared nostalgia in Charlie and Alan, bringing back memorie

23. Arguments for the Quickie
May 15, 2006 · 22m · 6.9

Mia returned to town with her dance company and extended an invitation to Charlie for their performance. Initially, he declined, attempting to assure Alan that his feelings for her had faded. However, he found himself at the show, where Mia

24. That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
May 22, 2006 · 21m · 7.1

As Charlie and Mia embarked on the task of planning their wedding, a subtle unraveling began. The initial optimism frayed as their two families encountered one another. Ultimately, they settled on an intimate ceremony in Las Vegas.

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