Synopsis

The headlines declared: "George Bush Loses the Election to Clinton," followed by a commercial for Hibernol: "It Knocks Your Cold Out, While You're Out Cold." A report detailed the arduous process of "Training the New, Socially Impaired Elevator Guy." Then came the announcement of "The First (Oscar-like) Annual Gutenberg Awards, Honoring the Best Books of the Year." And finally, a story about "The Horny Guy Who Had To Date The Prudish/Formerly Slutty Girl."