I initially thought, here at last was a movie tackling a really common fear—this could be amazing! How mistaken I was. Afterward, I asked my partner what she would do if she were the babysitter stuck with this porcelain boy, and her reply – “shave him and put lipstick on him” – proved more entertaining than watching the entire film. I honestly can’t remember a single moment that I genuinely enjoyed. Perhaps it might have been slightly amusing if he'd been shaved and made up. The movie begins with the predictably attractive babysitter arriving at an obviously isolated house, where an equally handsome man greets her—what a truly groundbreaking start! She walks into this stranger's home without him even coming to meet her, which I thought was just shockingly rude; I found myself hoping something bad would happen to her for being so stereotypical. The couple she’s working for appears and, as if the title didn’t already give it away, it turns out there isn’t a child—it's a doll. And I have to say, this creepy doll bears an unsettling resemblance to an eight-year-old pedophile. She receives a list of instructions, and you can practically see her mentally dismissing them as she learns how to put the doll in pajamas and tuck it into bed. At that point, I would’ve ordered pizza and secretly watched a bunch of movies for an easy night. There's an attic. As if this movie could be any less original—now we have a mysterious attic where the audience is supposed to wonder what lies beyond the ladder! I didn’t; I was wondering when it would end, as my mind drifted back to the Indian food I left downstairs for tomorrow morning. She ends up exploring the attic completely naked, which just added to my frustration with how unoriginal this is—like many current horror films, it quickly resorts to trying to focus on potential nudity rather than addressing how incredibly bored you are by the plot. I had a lot of notes prepared after seeing the film, but truthfully, all I can say to summarize it would be “Hollywood horror.” The scares are cheap, the twists are predictable, and Brahms (the doll) just becomes more disturbing as the movie goes on. If the girl was truly upset by what was happening, wouldn’t she have simply grabbed something heavy and smashed his porcelain face in? I probably would have been quicker about it anyway. (Oops, spoiler alert, but if you didn't see that coming, then I'm guessing you watched this and thought it was brilliant). If you ask me, all Brahms wanted was some excitement, judging by how he acted like a teenage boy during the movie—even trapped inside a porcelain shell, he couldn’t resist trying to peek at her in the shower. I guess I have to give him credit for that. Terrible. Avoid it. Stay away. 2/10

Source on TMDB