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Seize Them! (2024)

2024 • 1h 31m • Adventure, Comedy
On September 23, 2026
#73937▼ 2572
73937th by Pulse movie online
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CinemaSerf on Seize Them!

6/10 · Apr 10, 2024

It brought "Boudica" (2019) to mind, though this one isn’t quite as bad. “Dagan” (Aimee Lou Wood) is the ruler of a kingdom being conquered by "Humble Joan" (Nicola Coughlan, attempting an impression of Jeanette Krankie), who has found out about gunpowder. Fortunately for the deposed queen, she has a single devoted attendant, and this person – “Shulmay” (Lolly Adefope) – is clever enough to get them to safety. Then begins a journey covering 140 miles to the coast where they are supposed to meet the queen’s relatives from another country who seem to have pledged military assistance. Along the way, they run into "Bobik" (Nick Frost), who's pleasant but not very bright, and experience some things while staying one step ahead of the disloyal "Leofwine" (Jessica Hynes) and dodging possible treachery in each town where people would gladly hand them over for a reward of 200 silver coins. It probably would have worked better as a short comedic piece; extending it to ninety minutes was an error. There isn’t enough depth in the writing or with the characters to hold your attention that long. Wood is amusing initially, portraying a petulant and indulged woman known for her supposedly flawless feet and a crown, but there's only so much crude humor I can tolerate before noticing other people around me losing interest too. A bit of very dark comedy appears at the conclusion, but by then I was mostly not engaged. It’s something you might watch on television late at night with friends after having a few drinks. As a film shown in theaters, even considering what must have been a limited budget, it feels immature and ultimately quite disheartening.

Source on TMDB