W2TCH

Cockneys vs Zombies (2013)

2013 • 1h 28m • Horror, Action • NR
On October 1, 2026
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LastCaress1972 on Cockneys vs Zombies

· Aug 11, 2013

Andy and Terry Macguire (played by Harry Treadaway and Rasmus Hardiker) are two cockney orphans who cause trouble. They’re a bit wild, a bit crazy, but like all cockney orphan troublemakers, they have good hearts and want to save their grandad's (Alan "Brick-Top" Ford, who steals the show) retirement home from closing. Their plan? Steal a barely functional van, gather a team including their attractive cousin (Michelle Ryan), and two associates: Tuppence, who isn’t very bright (Jack Doolan), and Mental Mickey, who is quite unstable (Ashley "Bashy" Thomas). They also dress up as construction workers to rob a bank while work is being done nearby in the Docklands area. The story begins with those dockworkers accidentally uncovering a sealed tomb while digging, which leads them to believe there's treasure inside. Upon entering, they are immediately attacked by an ancient, dried-out zombie, kicking off the events and escalating quickly – perhaps too quickly; one moment there are no zombies, and then East London is suddenly a cordoned-off zombie zone, despite the film’s insistence that these zombies move slowly. Soon, the retirement home—filled with memorable characters and featuring Richard Briers in an incredibly slow chase scene—is under attack, and our inept bank robbers, who were already dealing with police at the bank, find their escape route unexpectedly clear because everyone on the street is either dead or undead. With a few hostages from the failed robbery, this group of misfits has to reach their warehouse meeting point and then decide whether to assist their grandad. This is an undemanding and enjoyable film. It’s like "What if Ealing Comedies made zombie movies?" The most obvious comparison would be to Shaun of the Dead, and it's certainly in that same style (though not quite as clever). Some drawbacks include Michelle Ryan’s appearance, which feels unnecessary, and the zombies, while treated seriously at times, aren't always given the weight they deserve. This results in a lack of real danger; even though it's intended to be funny, it is also fairly gory, and I think the filmmakers lose sight of that occasionally. However, these are minor complaints. Ashley Thomas and Rasmus Hardiker both do a great job, and Alan Ford is fantastic—as entertaining as he was in Snatch—and we even get to see if West Ham and Millwall fans can find common ground when they become undead. It's an easy and fun way to spend 80 minutes. What more could you want?

Source on TMDB