I regret to say that Alyssa Milano's decision to maintain her “no nudity clause” for Brazen is unfortunate – and I feel worse about it than I do for myself, given my past exposure to films like Embrace of the Vampire—because that’s really the only thing that could possibly redeem this film. Milano portrays Grace Miller, a writer of thriller novels. Here's an excerpt from her latest work, Brazen Virtue: "She did not expect to die that night. Sara Bowman was precise in everything, and dying wasn’t on her agenda. She had no known enemies. Generally, her life seemed quite ordinary. Yet, there she lay, surrounded by her own blood. The circumstances of her death were violent, even disturbing. Who would want to kill the seemingly unremarkable Sara Bowman? Then it occurred to her: what if she wasn't as ordinary as she appeared? What if she had a hidden side?" It’s hard to imagine such a secret could remain unknown, not even to "Sarah" herself. The film Brazen is based on Nora Roberts’ novel of the same name; I am unfamiliar with her other works, but it wouldn't surprise me if her books typically begin with a phrase like “It was a dark and stormy night” or something similar. Beyond being filled with overwrought prose, Grace also delivers awkward explanations, such as when she informs her sister Kathleen (Emilie Ullerup) that "Last I heard you were addicted to pills and you abandoned your son.” It seems unlikely this is news to Kathleen, who works as an English teacher at a private boys’ school: “Next week's assignment will be on Hamlet. How would Hamlet feel in our digital age?" I am fairly certain Ethan Hawke already addressed this question, and his answer wasn’t particularly compelling—a more relevant inquiry might be how Romeo would fare in the modern era, considering that a simple text message could have prevented so much trouble. Furthermore, Kathleen possesses her own secret life; she operates as Desiree, a web cam performer. It's surprising, to say the least, especially given the supposed emphasis on discipline within this niche. Kathleen is soon killed, and Grace begins interfering with the homicide investigation, which is officially overseen by Detective Ed Jennings (Sam Page)—who conveniently lives next door—and his partner, Detective Ben Parker (Malachi Weier), who might be named after Spiderman’s uncle but resembles a member of a Melvins cover band. Grace manages to convince Captain Rivera (Alison Araya), Ed and Ben's superior, to designate her as a “consultant” on the case—someone clearly has seen too much Lucifer. Grace justifies this by claiming that "I have an instinct for motive. I mean, that’s why my books are so successful. I can get inside the mind of a murderer, particularly those who attack women.” Ed, who is present and objects to her involvement, fails to point out that Grace would be a less than impressive author if she couldn't readily enter the minds of killers she invented herself. Unchecked, Grace adds, “Do you know how long it took the NYPD to find the Times Square Rapist? Eight months. And I came in, studied the case, and they caught him three days later.” It doesn’t occur to Ed to attribute this to coincidence or acknowledge that those eight months of police work were responsible for the arrest, not Grace's brief involvement. The Captain, who must have obtained her badge from a cereal box, is persuaded; "Grace, I read your books cover to cover as soon as possible. You truly are one of the most astute profilers around.” Fortunately, the scene concludes before the flattery becomes unbearable. What escapes my understanding is why director Monika Mitchell—and it’s noteworthy that a woman directed this brazen display of pseudo-feminism—goes to such lengths to portray Grace as an exceptional detective when she never comes close to identifying the killer or determining their motive (despite having “lots of ideas” about it), or why screenwriters Edithe Swensen and Donald Martin compel Milano to state, with all the sincerity she can manage, that Grace’s novels explore "the exploitation of women and misogyny and patriarchy and how we do very little to protect the most vulnerable,” only to have her apprehend the villain by literally using her body as bait. While it lacks explicit nudity, Brazen is one of the most embarrassing movies Milano has ever appeared in (though, for what it's worth, she remains quite attractive).

On September 22, 2026
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