“Do you know what Dr. Johnson said? Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.” “I think you’ll find I start to stink even sooner than that.” This exchange pretty much sums up how I feel about Barcelona; it has moments of sharp wit and sarcasm, wonderfully brought out by Chris Eigeman, but the final section drags, which brings to mind that third-day feeling. The movie, centering on two young American cousins navigating romantic entanglements in the city, also has another issue. Fred and Ted, portrayed by Eigeman and Taylor Nichols respectively, are well-acted—Nichols’s somewhat forced mannerisms make him seem like a stand-in for Woody Allen (an oddity given writer/director Whit Stillman usually inspires comparisons to that legendary filmmaker), though he redeems himself in a scene Fred describes as “some weird religious ceremony based on Glenn Miller”—but the local women they interact with are played by actresses from Australia, England, or America. This feels especially awkward when it comes to Mira Sorvino’s character, who isn't Spanish and doesn’t quite have the acting ability to convincingly portray one. Honestly, picking random people off a Barcelona street would probably have yielded better results using an Italian neorealist style; however, maybe my concern is unimportant, particularly considering that the female characters in the story are largely indistinguishable from each other. Even though he spends most of his time pursuing Marta (Sorvino), Fred ends up falling for Montserrat (Tushka Bergen); he explains, “I've seen her in all sorts of different situations and contexts.” These situations and contexts must have taken place in scenes that were written but never filmed or were shot and then cut, because the script simply dismisses it, mentioning near the end that “We spend hours together on the phone, and she is so fascinating and charming.” Meanwhile, Ted marries Greta (Hellena Schmied), a character introduced late in the story with whom he doesn’t share much more meaningful interaction than Fred does with Montserrat. But perhaps this is the point; as Ted says, “you see a beautiful girl and immediately you're subject to all these emotions… you haven't even spoken to her, and already you want to get married and spend your life with her.” He’s struggling with "a real 'romantic illusion' problem," wishing, "instead of a fantasy built on the pretty slope of an eyebrow or the curve of an upper lip, I could see the real person. Maybe even look into her eyes and see her soul." In that sense, the film is a true reflection of what Roger Ebert described in his review as “a vast yearning which can only be filled by a girl” – something most of us experience before we become reasonable; unfortunately, Fred doesn’t seem to move past this childish longing throughout the movie, and there's nothing to suggest that his relationship with Greta is based on anything more than those eyebrow slopes and lip curves rather than an actual person.
On September 25, 2026
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